Sorry!

I know I’ve been a bit absent, but unfortunately, I haven’t been feeling well. Still not. Having trouble with pain and bleeding. The experts don’t seem to be concerned, but it looks terrible, and feels worse!

I’m being switched off the pain meds that have been helping me, back to the ones that I used to take for my colitis, which I’m concerned won’t be as effective. That sets off my anxiety like crazy. Which makes me feel worse physically. Never let anyone tell you that your psychological state doesn’t effect your physical health or vice versa!

I have an appointment with my original GI on Wednesday for the first time since we decided on surgery back in February, and he referred me to Dr. Hyman. I’m glad the appointment is soon, because I’ll feel better talking to him about the issues that have popped up since I saw Dr. Hyman. It’s like being told I was doing well made me deteriorate. I fear ending up back in the hospital with any of dozens of issues ileostomies can bring.

Of course, I could just be overly nervous and paranoid. I still feel vulnerable, I think, and I’m torn between over and under-reacting. I feel physically sick and totally neurotic, which is another irony, since I just saw my shrink yesterday, and he pronounced me doing well also!

WTH, Universe?