Feeling Down…

Reposted from http://www.inspire.com/groups/ostomy/discussion/is-it-just-me-or-do-a-lot-of-us-seem-to-be-struggling-lately/ from June 24, 2013:

It feels like a lot of us are having problems at least indirectly related to our GI issues. I’m joining the Blue Brigade myself. I’ve pushed back against it for so long, trying to stay sunny side up. I evenwent to have have my haircut for the first time since last year, and that was really nice… but my hairdresser said I’m losing a lot of hair. This without cancer (my ileostomy is UC-related) or radiation. Then I found out that the short story I was working on with my editor when I had to stop and go into the hospital got published anyway. Yay, right? Not so much, according to reviews so far. I don’t dare read any more of them in fear of feeling worse. Then last night, my “beautifully healing” ab wound split near the top and started bleeding, so we bandaged it up and have to call to see if I’m going to end up back in the ER again. My money situation has gotten so bad, I don’t even have bread, let alone the gloves and wipes I use to clean my bag.
It’s one of those one those “when it rains, it bloody well pours”. On top of just feeling generally crappy, I don’t know long I can put up with this crap.

I know I’m whinging and I have ir FAR better than some people, but do you all have pity party days? Do you indulgence them, or force yourself out of them? I normally might go for a walk or do some other physical activity to get out of my had, but today I’m trying to let my belly rest until I get the official word on what to do.

*sigh* I guess I just needed to complain. Thanks for reading. Hope you’re all well.

~~~~~

I’m feeling a little better emotionally since then, but my physical health hasn’t hotten any better. Now I’ve got this terrible rash…but you don’t need to know that, right? LOL

Be well and be at peace!

Caturday!

Even though I’m not actually going to talk about cats — I’ll spare you that, today. I had a pretty uneventful one where all the cats slept through it, except Mama (Charlotte), who spent her morning begging to go outside instead of having her late morning nap as she usually does. You know that average 16 hours a day most cats sleep? That’s kaka for Charlotte. She’s usually up for two hours in the morning, less than one around lunch time, and maybe two at night. She has dedicated her life to olympic sleeping, with occasional breaks for eating and trying to escape… to eat grass outside.

Wait, didn’t I say I wasn’t going to talk about cats? Sorry.

Been feeling better belly-wise today than I have been lately. Not sure why. Luckily, I’ve been keeping close track of everything I eat and how I feel later, so I can go back and see if there’s a pattern I’m missing. Haven’t gone food shopping, so I’m out of things that I eat a lot, like cheese, slicked turkey, hummus, and other items that could possibly cause issues. I just ate less in general, as well. However, I did drink half a pot of coffee — I thought that would make me feel worse, rather than just making my output COMPLETELY LIQUID! Which should bother me more, but actually makes it easier to change the bag lady. As long as I don’t mind the stink…

This is the kind of research I should be doing to get to know the Bag Lady better. The less pain meds I have to take, the better. Unfortunately, I was also naughty — I didn’t exercise today. Resting my abdominals? No, sir, being lazy and tired. Slept late and everything. Almost missed my favorite cartoon (we don’t have cable): Liberty’s Kids. I swear, I’ve learned more about American Revolutionary history from this little cartoon than I ever did in school. Maybe if I had gone to class more, and paid attention when I did, I wouldn’t be saying that. 😉

I think that counts as TMI… although, if I’m talking about my poop all the time, you don’t mind a little levity talking about my misspent youth and favorite TV shows, right? Say yes. 😉

Tonight is a changing night — all the apparatus comes off, cleaning up time, and put on a new one. This is the stuff that my WOCN gave me on Monday. Not familiar at all with working in this medium, so I’m a little nervous about changing it. I also don’t know if my insurance company will pay for it, so I’m wondering if it’s worth the time to even make the switch any further. I like the convex seal a lot, as well as the belt, and I’d really like to keep it, but it’s not listed on the Medicare list, so I can’t be sure that my insurance will approve.

I REALLY need to finish the post about different kinds of ostomy apparatuses (yes, that is the plural, I looked it up!) I started last week but still haven’t finished yet — it gives a better context for those readers that aren’t ostomates or their friends, family, or health care workers, and might not be familiar with the lingo or the conditions that require it.

For the record, this is what I’m wearing right now (if I can get the pictures to work):

This is the belt. It helps keep the bag more secure:

The belt latches to one side of the bag, circles the waist, latches to the other. You take it off at night. I’m not sure still how I feel about having the bag so tight against my abdomen, although it increases my “wear time” (days between when I have to change the whole bag, as opposed to just cleaning it out). It sometimes leaves me feeling bruised, especially after I eat and my belly gets puffed up.

Constant decisions! Of course, I only have experience with two systems, so I don’t know if I can even judge yet.

We’ll see how it goes. How was your first full day of summer? Don’t forget to look out for the super moon tomorrow night!

Sometimes Things Catch Up With You

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but since I’ve was in the hospital, my sleeping patterns have been really messed up. In the hospital, I would sleep for a few hours, then wake up and be unable to go back to sleep for awhile before getting so tired I pretty much passed out.

Since I’ve been home, it’s been similar. I usually wake up because I have to go to the bathroom, or I’m anxious about my Bag Lady getting leaky and causing a poo disaster. I get up, do my business, and then I can’t get back to sleep. I stay up and read, watch TV, play games on my Kindle. But along with the drugs I take, I find myself droopy and tired to varying degree all day.

Well, today I think it really caught up with me. I woke up the final time (or so I thought)this morning around 9:30-ish, had breakfast, took my meds, and drank my coffee (a special treat I couldn’t have before my surgery!). But even after that, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I was sitting on the couch just nodding off. So I decided to take a little nap.

My mom came in at 4:30 p.m. to wake me up and remind me about the Bag Lady — she NEVER gets tired, no matter how little sleep you get! I can’t believe I slept all day!